wait awhile

you have to live alone awhile
you have to undo the altruistic impulse
this includes the time you cooked me
smoked pork and collard greens
for instance or the quick tidying
of my apartment every time you come
all of that has to fall away before
you know what’s really coming out
of your soul what’s really down there
it comes in the lying down at night
and understanding that the heat
is only on for you the bills are all
in your name and only in order for
you to be able to turn on a lamp
or the stove when you feel like it
not when you don’t that’s when it
comes and may i say it creeps up
not without a certain measure of
sweetness some amount of relief
the soft realization of self-worth
once you have that it’s a different
ball game once you have that you
can date whom you like you can
make something of yourself you
have the world at your doorstep
and if you should find your way back
into my life i should be glad to see you.
it would mean something different, then.

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